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There is nothing quite like that tram journey into work in the morning. Black Mesa is a great facility, up to date, a good amount of HEV suits, and very unlikely to make an random portal to another dimension, pushing you to deal with for your life with a crow-bar.
Nope, absolutely these days will be just another day of science studies for you.
Keep calm until this shirt arrives.
Here at Aperture Laboratories we are all about participant morale. A calm test subject delivers the best data. So please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride. Deploying smooth jazz in 3… 2… 1… Are you a good test subject?
While the Long Fall Boot is currently unavailable outside of Aperture Laboratories’ testing facilities, you can still sport the latest look in test subject fashion with these Long Fall Socks. As part of a previously mentioned test protocol, we are required to tell you that these socks won’t actually help you survive any long falls, however they will make your feet look attractive whether you’re safely on the ground or plummeting towards an imminent demise. Test out you pair of this sexy socks!
“Welcome to Aperture – Where the science is theoretical but your $60 is FACT!” Who knew you would make so much money with such little effort? Of course you can even double it if you let us cut you open and stick some science stuff in you. That’s $120! And how! Find your shirt today!
